This survey is administered once a year in june and we use it to tell how many users are reading alt.discordia, some stats of the average user, and how far our feed is getting.
********************************************************************** * * * ALT.DISCORDIA ANNUAL SURVEY * * Compiled by rev. Zoweee * * Wow,KSC; Chairman, Kurt * * Cobain Blew His Palatte * * to Kansas For Your Sins * * Cabal * ********************************************************************** * PART ONE: Regular Shit * ********************************************************************** 1: Holy name (wholly holy name, wholly holey holy name, etc) 2: Cabal, Organization, Society, Sect or Corporation to which you belong. 3: Date-of-Birth 4: Assumed Date-of-Demise 5: Sex (list frequency (in MHz)) 6: Height (above sea level) 7: Weight (just a moment) 8: Hair Color 9: Hair Length 10: Hair Width 11: Left eye Color 12: Right eye Color 13: Computer Type 14: Astrological Sign 15: Vibratory Frequency 16: Total Dollar Worth 17: Phylum, Genus, Species and Breed ********************************************************************** * PART TWO: Cabala Information (for Illuminati Archives (please lie))* ********************************************************************** In 2,300 words or less, please give all pertinent information about the Cabal, Organization, Society, Sect, or corporation in which you claim membership. Is it a contributing member to OperationMindfuck? Why? Do you have better things to do than stand to Wilson's tweaked Ideology? Why? huh? ********************************************************************** * PART THREE: The Cabbage Question (Mr. Myxlplyk may skip this) * ********************************************************************** In five words or more, define your un-cabbageness. If you cannot do this, turn in your badge, Greyface! (NOTE: The Amazing Mr. Cabbage, as alt.discordia's resident non-conformist and admitted cabbage, is allowed to skip this question and retain papal rights) ********************************************************************** * PART FOUR: Proof of Divine Abilities (OPTIONAL) * ********************************************************************** Perform some act proving divinity and get it published in the daily papers. If you can't do this, FIND some divine-looking happening in Your local rag and CLAIM you did it. Transcribe and attach it here. ********************************************************************** * PART FIVE: The Rant * ********************************************************************** All good Discordians should be able to rant ceaselessly about some matter which normals find distasteful or stupid. Please think-up a babble and place it here. REMEMBER The President, the feds, or the fun folks at Dateline will be reading this, so make it good. ********************************************************************** * THE END, THANK YOU FOR PLAYING * ********************************************************************** Email your responses ASAP. THE FUTURE OF OUR RELIGION MAY DEPEND ON IT (but probably doesn't) NOTE: If you have more than one personality, you must fill out the survey once for each one. If these personalities live in different geographical areas, you MUST send them to the proper addresses. ie, if one personality lives in LA (and sends their's to dateline@news. nbc.com), and the other one lives in London, the second one MUST mail its to president@whitehouse.gov.